Deep dive into Transactional Analysis techniques (Part 2/3)

In this article, we will look at some common techniques and frameworks used with Transactional Analysis.

STROKE

A stroke is an act of recgonition of acknowledgement that one gives to another, the "fundemental unit of social action". The term 'stroke' comes from the idea of a physical 'stroke' (gentle touch, pat on the back), expanding to include emotional, verbal and symbolic forms of recgonition (such as a greeting, or a dismissive snub).

The idea of strokes stem from our need for receiving strokes (physical and emotional) from early days in child development. It was observed that infants deprived of strokes are more likely to experience emotional difficulties in their adulthood. Similarly, adults require receiving strokes, and the lack of it is termed 'recgonition hunger' or 'stroke hunger'.

"If you are not stroked, your spinal cord will shrival up"- Eric Berne

Types of stroke:

Types of Stroke	Example	Explanation
Positive	"You did an awesome job"	Positive feedback reinforces self esteem and behaviour
Negative	"You are always late"	Recgonition is given in the form of criticism
Conditional	"I like you when you dress up"	Approval is tied to behaviour
Unconditional	"i love you no matter what"	Acceptance is given regardless of behaviour

The desired outcome of a stroke is the satisfaction of our 'stroke hunger'. For example- a child misbehaving may receive attention in the form of a negative stroke. So long as it is done in a respectful context that provides constructive criticisms and honest feedbacks, it will invite dialogue and target behaviour change. It is important to note that negative strokes are prefereable to no strokes at all due to our fundemental human need and deep psychological drive to be acknowledged. If a child does not receive 'positive' strokes, over time, it becomes a learned strategy to misbehave to receive any form of stroke. Similarly, adults mould behaviors to those most profitable to receiving strokes. This reinforcement loop can be equally damaging as useful in breaking out of toxic self- hearming patterns.

In a clinical setting, it is crucial the therapist recgonizes attention seeking behaviours. This provides the insight into one's survival mechanisms, and needs to be recgonized and acknowledged before any behavioural changes can be made.

GAMES

Berne defines games as a recurring set of transactions, often repetitious, superficially plausible with a concealed motivation and predictable outcome.

Image illustrating the Drama Triangle, sourced from Stephen Karpman

The above image illutrates the common roles in games:

Victim: powerless and mistreated

Rescuer: tries to help and fix others, often unasked

Persecutor: blames, criticizes or dominates

People play games to seek stroke, unconsciously reinforce their life scripts and maintain psychological balances through familiar roles. Some categories of the common games people play include: "Now I've got you, You son of a bitch", "Look what you made me do". Each game serves a particular psychological and social function, but ultimately results in emotional stagnation or harm.

Transactions and Communication

A transaction is the basic unit of communication between two or more people, and occurs when one's ego states sends a 'stroke' (unit of recgonition) to another person.

Types of Transactions	What is it?	Example
Complementary	Ego states are addressed, and there is smooth communication.	Person A (Adult to adult): "Do you know what time the meeting starts?" Person B (Adult to adult): "Yes, it starts at 3pm"Both parties are speaking and responding from the adult ego state.
Crossed	Unexpected or incompatiable ego state leading to communication breakdowns.	Person A (Adult to adult): " Where did you put this report?" Person B (Child to parent): "Why are you always blaming me?" Person A expected a factual answer, but Person B responds emotionally.
Ulterior	Hidden agendas behind surface level communications. This tend to involve multiple ego states at play, with one disguising as another.	Person A (Adult, with child intent)" "You probably do not understand how this works"Person B (child): "Yes i do, let me show you!" On the surface, it is an adult to adult, but underneath- it is a child provoking child to tease out a reaction

Understanding transactions helps one recgonize communications- are these interactions coming from a mismatch in states? This allows for more conscious communications, promotes healthy dialogue and effective conversations.